A story about choosing your own path, the people you meet along the way and the lessons that become clearer when you get a better view.

A young, ambitious girl stands with a heart full of love at the base of a mountain. Eyes wide and eager, she feels both fear and excitement in her body.

She looks up the mountain and can see the top, her supposed destination.

To her right, there are many hikers, walking sticks in hand, ready to take to the marked path in front of them. To her left, a smaller group contemplates a map, as they try to decide which of two well-established trails they will take.

She is standing alone.

Ahead of her is no marked path or trail. Instead, the land is lined with tall grass, wild flowers, a smattering of bushes and old spruce trees that sprawl as far as her eyes can see.

She decides to forge a new path,

one that hasn't been chosen before.

With her hatchet, her sturdy legs and strong body, she decides to start right here. She works slowly as she creates a new path in the brush.

Her legs and arms get scraped as she works and she carves away a path just big enough for each of her foot holds. Sweat slowly starts to collect at her temples while her muscles work diligently and methodically for her.

She is being pulled by something inside her. Something that has given her new strength, one that she’s never felt before.

Her movements are rhythmic and determined. She loses sense of time, until she finds herself deep into the forest, alone, but not.

She is greeted by several characters.

A mysterious coy fox 

stops from a distance to check her out. He is regal in nature. He is the most beautiful color of orange, if only she could steal that exact hue for a sweater, it would highlight her auburn hair and hazel eyes perfectly.

He sits and stares at her for a while with his full tail gracefully waving back and forth. The stark white stripe down the front of his face accentuates his features and mirrors his keen, yet cautious personality.

The girl feels captured by his beauty, yet some unrest for what he doesn’t want her to see. 

He is clever and only briefly stays to show her his handsome robe and then, without a word, he disappears again into the thick brush.

A wise crow 

follows her as she meanders further into the wood. High above her, this crow has the greatest vista of all, he observes her from the sky.

The crow is old and carries a wizard-like intuitive knowing. He seems to be able to anticipate the girl's next move, like he knows it even before she does. 

He whispers like an echo;

You’ve got this.

She acknowledges the crow with a tilt of her chin, and continues on, feeling protected by his watchful eye.

A flickered glimmer enters her peripheral vision. Something is weaving in and out of the branches, like a magic wand, it sparkles. She recognizes the thrum of its wings as the sound of

a hummingbird. 

I’m so excited you are here,

you are amazing.

The hummingbird giggles and then is gone.

Thirsty, the girl stops to drink from a slow-moving stream.

She can feel each drop of water glide from her hands as she scoops it gingerly into her awaiting parched mouth. She is grateful for the simplicity of this most needed resource and savors every drop as if it were her first time tasting it.

The stream seems to gurgle in response,

My water is too low, do not take too much.

I have many mouths to feed, not just yours.

You will run me dry.

She is struck with a feeling of shame. 

She acknowledges the stream and quickly lets what’s left in her hands fall back to its source.

She pulls an apple from her pack and makes her way back up her mountain.

As she walks, she notices things she hasn’t really noticed before;

• the earth feels firm, yet soft and forgiving underneath her feet.
• the air smells sweet and yet a has the tang of musk as it sweeps through both of her nostrils.
• her skin prickles in response to a gust of wind which feels like it travels through her and not past her.

She can hear leaves rustling, birds chirping, and the steady lub-dub of her heart beating inside her chest cavity as she picks up her pace. She takes a deep breath and notices the bottom of her lungs as they expand downward, puffing her belly out, she uses her diaphragm’s full ability to extend.

She didn’t know her lungs could expand like that.

She knows she is technically alone, yet she has never felt more surrounded by something. Something she can’t describe or put words to, but that is more majestic and all-knowing than anything she’s ever felt before.

She trudges forward, keen to reach the top, but acutely aware too, of the importance of now.

More characters.

A wild hare, who can’t seem to move. 

Is he paralyzed or scared stiff? Either way, he initially is afraid of the girl, but the girl can see in his eyes that he is young and that he has a big innocent heart.

His fear is just a shell. 

She sits with the hare and tells the hare stories of her life at home. The hare softens, but still won’t move, he can’t. And so, he listens, and they share stories. He about his hare family and she about her human family.

They talk about what they like to eat, where they play, and what happens when they get in trouble.

The girl sees and can feel how different she is from the hare and he to her. 

They bond anyway. They learn about each other and find peace in the learning. As the girl finishes her story, she knows that her time with the hare is coming to an end, the path is calling her.

She lovingly pats the hare on the soft spot right in between his floppy ears and reminds him to not forget about his heart. He smiles and says thank you to the girl. The girl somehow knows, that she’ll never see her hardened hare again.

A monkey. 

Wait, how is there a monkey here? 

He darts in front of her quickly pulling her attention away from her thoughts.

He’s keen and smart. His skinny body sways effortlessly through the trees and he playfully entices the girl. Without her knowing, he manages to steal an energy bar from her pack. She willfully tries to get it back but he’s just too fast.

He loves the hit of caffeine and sugar. 

After several attempts to get him to sit still, the girl realizes that she can’t keep up with the monkey, so she decides to just watch him.

He’s like an acrobat, flipping and twisting his body while at the same time he starts asking the girl very inquisitive questions.

He's curious about her and likes to make her think. 

She ends up laughing and really enjoying her new friend’s company. She spends a lot of time contemplating all his questions and appreciating his ability to make her process things she wouldn’t otherwise think of.

She gives the monkey the rest of her energy bars and has him promise to her, not to eat them all at once. He beams with excitement, says thank you to the girl as he pops them in his mouth and winks at her swinging away into the depth of the forest.

She laughs, throwing her head back and marveling at what a simple joy this monkey has brought her. 

The girl comes to some rougher terrain.

It’s rocky, dry and steep. As she tries to traverse this terrain, she knocks over a few rocks, and watches as they skid all the way down the mountain.

She almost falls and the rocks stop her,

Be careful, your carelessness will cause me to have a landslide.

You should find somewhere else to walk.

Why are you here?

Can’t you see that I’m dangerous?

That I can crumble at any moment?

But the girl doesn’t have a choice. She has to move through the shale to get to the other side.

With the sun on her back and her steady legs carrying her, the girl presses forward heeding the warning while being acutely aware too, of her own survival.

She needs to cross to continue.

With each step, a few pebbles loosen and fall. She moves as slowly and gracefully as she can, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference.

Just as she makes it to the other side, a landslide happens right at her heels.

She jumps to safety.

The rocks are angry with her. 

I told you not to go.

This is all your fault!

She watches as the rubble storms all the way down the mountain, creating a huge wave of destruction.

The girl feels terrible. 

Her stomach starts to hurt, like it’s tied up in knots. She sits with her scraped knees tucked into her chest and lets her breathing regulate as she nurses her tummy back to rest. Rocking back and forth on her hips, the rhythmic motion seems to slowly soothe her back to a state of internal homeostasis.

Right then, a great female mountain goat appears at the edge of the rock.

She is an important, very special goat. She is wise and has been searching for help because she is also very sick.

She watches the girl for sometime.

She sees something in the girl that the girl doesn't yet know about herself. 

This nannie instinctively knows that the girl has been sent to her by the mountain to help her die. 

The great nannie slowly walks over to the girl and nudges her with her nose, gently encouraging the girl to get up. The girl listens, lifts her head and follows the goat up a steep ledge.

She is taken to a cave where the great goat then lies down on top of some already packed leaves, grass and flowers. Her place of rest.

Her lungs aren’t working the way they should. 

The band of goats have exhausted all the options to save her, and they all know that the only option now is to let her die. This is why they need the girl. The girl watches the nannie with her band of goats and she can feel her grandeur. Her strength, leadership, and deep wisdom are all very apparent.

The girl feels honored to be asked to help. 

She and the nannie begin a silent dance.

One where they both decide what to do next, together. The girl instinctively removes a blade of grass, the great nannie nods in approval. Each blade removed, allows for a release.

A release from what was, to what has to be. 

The goat’s body slowly begins to let go. With the kids and the billies out of the cave, the girl cleans the nannie’s body with her permission, carefully massaging out the kinks in her strong back and shoulders, after washing her fur.

The girl takes care to then clean behind the nannie’s black horns and she re-arranges the bed of packed leaves underneath her. Once this ritual is done, the girl repositions the flowers close to the nannie’s head and she invites the band of goats back into the cave.

The great nannie closes her eyes, does not make a sound, but she is not silent. She is felt by everyone in the cave. 

She starts to soften into the earth, to allow it to take her.

The girl knows that is it time to remove the final blade of grass.

She leans over and kisses the nannie on her crown and with that, and the entire band holding vigil, the great nannie takes her final breath.

A tear rolls down the girl’s cheek.

The band and the girl all stand around the great goat in silence. 

The cave is filled with light and a wave of invisible energy washes over all of them. 

She rests. 

The girl returns to her mountain.

Fatigue starts to creep its way into her body. She wants to stop.

Just then, the hummingbird arrives, pulling her attention from the ground, up to its magical wings and body.

I’m so happy it was you with the hare, the monkey and the goat.

I’m so happy you were there.

You are amazing.

It flutters close to her face, as if to smell her, smiles, hovers a little longer, does an awkward excited loop and then flies away.

The crow is still there as well, in the distance. Flying from spruce tip to spruce tip, watching her every move.

You’ve got this,

he repeats.

And so, she presses forward. Back to work carving out her path with her hatchet, diligently creating a new trail.

She stops at a clearing.

A meadow that is covered in a bed of wild yellow flowers. Her fingers graze over the tops of the flowers as she walks in awe of their beauty. She stops, kneels down and picks one out of the ground, gently placing it behind her ear.

Don’t just take one!

Take more!

Our seeds won’t spread unless you pick more of us.

Please at least rustle our pedals to release our seeds.

Without you, we will all die.

The girl feels confused. 

She knows in her heart that this is somehow not true, and she knows too, that she doesn’t have the time or the energy to rustle each pedal or to pick all the flowers.

They WILL die, and so will she. 

But they can’t see that, and she knows they can’t.

Instead, she musters,

I can’t, I’m sorry.

With an overwhelming feeling of disappointment coming from each flower, the girl turns her back to the meadow, moving forward forcing her gaze and her chin up.

She trudges on.

After some time, a dam emerges around a bend.

She comes across a very happy, yet quiet beaver. 

He is lying next to the dam, propped up by some broken pieces of wood. Even though he is alone, he is smiling, and when he sees the girl, he seems to smile bigger.

As the girl approaches him, she can see that his tail is shorter than the tails of the others. His family is busy working on the dam nearby, but because of his deformity, he is stuck here. He can’t work like the rest of his beaver colony.

The girl learns very quickly that although he is physically disabled, this beaver is highly intelligent. He tells her many tales about his life, and she can see how he can hypothesize about several widely diverse topics. He is incredible with numbers, can talk politics and is the most astute beaver in his colony.

The girl notices that this beaver also has the most beautiful long coat out of all the beavers.

Your long fur is so beautiful.

He smiles, and says thank you, but she can tell that there is more there, so she asks the beaver if he likes his coat long.

No, I much prefer it short.

The girl is aghast.

Has no one asked you how you like your own coat?

She reaches into her pack and pulls out her trusty Swiss Army knife.

With the beaver’s permission, she starts to cut and trim his fur, starting on his back, working behind his ears and neck, all the way to the top of his head. She combs and cleans his fur and takes great care of every detail around his nose, lips and teeth as well. They barely talk during this time.

She, working, he, trusting. 

When she is done, she helps the beaver come to the edge of the stream so that he can see his reflection. He smiles brighter than he had when he first met the girl.

She smiles too.

The beaver’s family can’t believe their eyes. They’ve never seen this beaver with a short coat, in fact, because he never complains, they hadn’t seen him at all. They see him now and they ask him what he thinks of the construction of the dam and if he thinks they should adjust any of the wood.

The girl can leave the beaver now. 

She knows, as she says goodbye to her new friend that she will forever be connected to this special beaver. She doesn’t know how, but she knows that she’ll know if he needs her again. And then she’ll be there.

They both smile at each other, and she continues on her path.

The hummingbird nearly hits the end of her nose as she forages back through the forest. 

I’m so happy it was you with the beaver too!

You are amazing!

Clumsy in her excitement, the hummingbird flutters around in a funny circle again, before flying away giggling and gleaming in the sunlight.

The girl is almost there.

She can see the top of her mountain.

A bear meets her next.

He is kind and welcoming. He doesn’t say anything to the girl. She can tell that he is safe and without a word, she takes her hand in his and they walk together.

She notices while walking with him that everything seems quieter in her world with the bear by her side, calmer even. 

She can hear herself well here.

They walk like this for what feels like an eternity, but also only a moment.

They both stop at the crest of the mountain.

She thanks the bear and continues on her own up the mountain.

He nods and says,

Go, you have so much to do.

I can’t wait to see it all.

She smiles with gratitude to her bear and makes her way back up.

The crow and hummingbird are waiting for her at the top of the mountain.

They simply smile and fly away in unison. The crow like an arrow, and the hummingbird in its clumsy little circles glimmering into the clouds.

She can feel all the other characters she's met along the way with her now too. 

The cunning fox, the hardened hare, the agile monkey, the majestic mountain goat, the happy beaver, and the kind bear. They are all with her, in her heart.

But it is she who brought her here. 

She who met the characters along the way and saw what gifts they had for her, saw the gifts that they in fact were.

It was her body that was strong enough to make its way through the brush and obstacles, finding home again and again inside itself.

Landing her here.

At the top.

She looks around.

She can see so much from up here. 

The stream she stopped to drink at is indeed very low, but she can see that it’s low because there isn’t enough snow at the top of the mountain to feed it. The runoff was low and so the stream has less water.

She sees that whether she drank from the stream or not, its supply was depleted, so it had nothing more to give.

Underneath the rubble she can see that the earth is dry and cracked and that the landslide would have happened whether she crossed its path or not.

That it wasn't her pebbles that created the destruction but instead the foundation that the rocks sit upon which is frail and weak. 

The wind blows a hard gust, and she watches the seeds from each flower in the meadow billow in the air as they land in a new clearing to re-plant and grow.

Turns out, they didn't need her like they thought they did. 
But she notices that all the flowers still look very sad.
That even though there's a group of them, they are all very lonely.

Maybe that's why they wanted her to stay?

With this new physical view of her mountain scape from her eyes and the new felt view of all her friends in her heart, the girl falls back onto a bed of grass and closes her eyes.

Feeling the heat of the sun on her face, her hands land naturally stacked over her heart, and she smiles deep from her soul.

She is grateful. 

Tomorrow she will choose another path, maybe on a different mountain, by the ocean, or maybe in a valley somewhere, she hasn’t decided yet.

And if her actions seem to cause a tsunami, a landslide or a draught, she now knows that there is always more to the story than meets the eye.

That all she can do is continue on her path and hope she gets the gift of more characters greeting her along the way, and the ability to see her lessons, and her friends, as they come.

That each character and piece of the mountain has its own version of her story too, it all depends on the view by which they see it.

She knows that the only story that really matters, is the one she writes herself. For she cannot control how the mountain tells the story or how the characters see her along the way, but she can decide which version SHE will see and tell.

And tell it, she will.

xo

This story is written in loving memory of my dear patients: M.M., M.S., and P.P., may you all be resting in peace. 
And also for my smiley D.P., who is thankfully very much alive.
xo 
Your Nurse, 
Chantelle